Any form of loss is devastating, there is pain and there is heartbreak. When a loss is sudden and unexpected it can feel like there is a diminished ability to cope. Those grieving the death of their loved one are left shocked and stunned and can feel so emotionally disrupted. This is because the adaptive capacities are so severely assaulted with the shock that the ability to cope becomes critically injured and functioning can be seriously impaired.
If you have experienced this sudden and unexpected grief then you have probably suffered the extreme feelings of bewilderment, anxiety, regrets and that complete sadness that leaves you wanting to stay within the safety of the home. There is no time to prepare and no time to gradually absorb the reality that the world you knew and loved is about to change into unfamiliar territory.
Like in all deaths you are left to face a massive gap between the way the world should be and the way the world is going to be without the person who has died physically in your plans. There is a major violation of expectations and the sense of safety in the world and control is assaulted.
Because you have not had any time to prepare for the death the brain struggles to find understandable context and you are left to deal with the lack of anticipation. In order to manage you may find yourself looking back at the time leading up to the death and trying to reconstruct events in your mind to try and allow for some predictability or warning. This retrospective construction of events is the brain trying to make the situation more manageable by trying to map a perception of logical progression of control and retrospectively providing you with that preparation.
For those grieving a sudden loss the physical and emotional shock can feel so intense and long-lasting. Combined with a drastically altered world you may feel your sense of coping with life is further impacted as you try to understand what has happened to you, the person that has died and your ever intense feelings of loss and grief.